You’re Distant…

So …

A friend of mine recently said she felt that I had become distant since becoming sick, which I denied.

But looking back on it, I have become distant. Seldom posing on social media , not replying to everyone’s texts. So why the sudden change in behaviour?

I’m sick. We all know that at this point. It’s been physically draining just as much as it’s been mentally draining. I find myself wanting to be alone. Not wanting to complain about my situation to anyone. I mean, we all have problems right? Mine just happens to be this mystery illness from which I’m not getting better.

I’m tired. Not just physically but mentally as well. Like being sucked into this big black hole ,  tired of going to the ER, doctors appointments and dealing with the physical pains. I know what your thinking, take painkillers but it’s not that simple. The painkillers knock me on my ass because I’m sensitive to them from avoiding them all my life. If I take painkillers I render myself useless. Not able to do basic tasks.

I am again struggling with eating. Now that the nausea is under control with drugs again, I’m dealing with the pain spikes from eating, not wanting to eat. I’m getting weak again. I know better. I know I just need to suck it up and eat. Before I end up hospitalised. I cannot begin to describe to you what this is like.

I want to get better. I think I proved that with the colonoscopy this week. Which I asked for. So why can’t I find the willpower to eat three meals a day? It’s quite puzzling.

Brandon

The Specialist Appointment…

So the day has come and today I finally had my specialist appointment…

I got lost in the building which houses close to 60 different doctors offices. Making me almost late for my appointment.  I checked in and then proceeded to wait an hour and twenty minutes past my appointment time.

Then I was finally seen. It was a very quick meeting. He proceeded to ask of my symptoms and what had been done already. Told me the pain was was feeling was Cramps, to which I told him It wasn’t. But that was useless arguing, I know my body better then anyone else and I know where I hurt when I cramp, and this isn’t that. He wouldn’t listen to anything I was telling him.

He then tells me he thinks this is an allergic reaction to Gluten.  Pointless arguing with the man, I can eat vegetables and I still have pain spikes, but no less, He wasn’t hearing any of it.

So he has ordered more blood work. Which I plan on completing on Monday. Then I’ll have the absolute pleasure of dealing with this doctor again . Yay!. Insert Sarcasm.

He says if this comes back clean then I get to look forward to more cameras inside of me.  Yay! . More Sarcasm !

I want to get better, I really do, But i feel like this is a step backwards .  After waiting two and a half months to see this specialist, I feel like it was the biggest waste of time ever.

I’ll update you again when I know more,

Brandon (AKA The Brandom One)

My Girlfriend @ShaggySmith

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We met at my former employer. Both working in the same project at the time.

Didn’t really talk much at work. I was a support staff member and “work Brandon” was a completely different person then those few that see me outside of work.

Then Cupid showed up , Not the make believe Cupid, a mutual friend who was playing cupid trying to get us to explore building a relationship outside of work.

Then it happened, No, not “It” , but on Christmas eve I asked her to be my girlfriend, to which she happily said yes.

Now, fast forward to September, we’re going strong. I’m very much happy (Minus the health issues ,but you can see the earlier blog for that info) . Lucky to have someone in my life that has really stepped up and cared for me when I became too ill to care for myself. I’m very lucky. I know this.

I look forward to our future together, whatever obstacles come out way, We’ll get though it together.

Brandon

I’m No Good At Blogging…

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Hello again,

So I kept meaning to write in this here blog, but I’ve been broken spiritually as of late. For those of you new to the blog or YouTube channel I’ve been dealing with issues with my digestive system, which has been broken for 5 1/2 months now. Next to the circulatory system and respiratory system the digestive system is one of those important systems that when it breaks, it causes chaos.

The toll this has taken on me is a very large one. Not only do I deal with the suffering from day to day, but it’s screwed me financially, I’ve gained $2,000 more in debt, from medical expenses (even with free healthcare and a medical plan through work, mostly because I’m getting only 60% of my regular income while on leave, which isn’t enough month to month to pay what few bills I have, plus having to pay for pills) . I am not writing this for pity or charity. I am not looking for any hand outs or loans. I’m simply stating facts. This has also taken a toll on my mental well being, wondering if I’ll ever get my life back, or be me again. It’s scary that the constant pain and suffering has become “Normal” to me now.

Some people would say “Go back to work”. Those people can go fly a kite. If I wasn’t in pain (6/10) all day with peaks of 9.5/10 when i eat, combined with a digestive system that processes food at a rapid pace, to the point I spend most of my day in my bathroom, I might think about it. But 5 1/2 months into this I’ve seen no improvement, no diagnosis or treatment. So , no i won’t be returning to work.

Don’t get me wrong, I have some great people in my life who have been there to help me in my time of need. I am very appreciative of that. The moral support has been the only thing keeping me going.

I just hope that none of you ever go though this in your lifetimes…

Brandon (AKA The Brandom One)

You CAN Make A Difference….

Yours Truly.

Random Thoughts ...

I want the world to be a better place…

I may not be rich, or have a lot of spare time. But I have made a difference in many lives. You can too. 

The smallest of acts of kindness can make all the difference in a complete strangers lives. From paying for a complete strangers purchases at a corner store, to over-tipping a server at a restaurant. You can be the difference in someone’s life.

I once went to a Local Chinese restaurant in my hometown, sharing a meal with my significant other, and tipped the server, $20.00 which was about a 50% tip, the server chased me down the sidewalk after we had left, thinking I had unintentionally tipped her that amount. Her expression was the reward when I told her I felt she had earned the tip with her amazing service…

I’ve been known to tip people more…

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I’m No Good At Being Sick…

This whole nightmare started three months ago…

At first, I tried to hide it from my friends , family, and even my girlfriend. I have pride in my immune system, having worked in call centers for 12 years now, I’ve have had about every strand of cold ,flu, and other virus known to man. My immune system is so great, I went years without getting sick while my peers suffered around me.

So when this started I thought to myself “This will never last” . My immune system will hit it below the belt and I’ll be good as new. Now months later, I never got better…

Two months pass, and then I experienced something horrible, what I envision it would feel like to be poisoned and Instantly visit a doctor office. I should probably mention, I don’t see doctors unless I’m in fear for my life. Which has only happened three times so far since moving to the city all those years ago. My blackout spells, My double vision spells and now this.

Upon visiting the doctors office , I am prescribed medicine to try to control the nausea because at this time I am unable to stomach anything without severe nausea and vomiting. The doctor also sends me for blood work , which turns out fine. I go back to work the following day and am sent home because I’m unable to keep anything down. I get sick on the walk to work, and again in the building.

The next ten days I miss work… Not seeing any improvement with the medication. I visit the hospital as the doctor I’m seeing gives up when the blood work comes back clean. More Blood Work done. Still clean. I’m instructed by the hospital staff to get a family doctor here, since my doctor is more then a ninety minute car ride away and me without a car, impossible.

At this time I transfer my doctor out here, and am placed on sick leave from work. The vomiting stops, my weight loss stops. All other symptoms persist. My new doctor orders more blood work, because lets face it, probably a vampire in need of a midnight snack. I gain 4 pounds back from the 20-25 pounds I lost. Which is progress.

Weeks later, all tests have come back clean, I am referred to a digestive specialist. Which at this time I am waiting to see…

So why the title? I’m no good at being sick….

This illness has made me rely on others , which I have an issue with. I’ve always been a loner. Doing things by myself and taking pride in it. I will go the extra mile to make a complete stranger’s day by doing something for them. But me. I have to do everything for myself.

Even three months into this I’m struggling with letting others help me. The stubborn old man in me just wants to do everything for myself.

This illness has also had an effect on my social life. Which is funny. I’ve always been a shy person with a small circle of friends. But now I can’t do anything but melt in a puddle on my bed or couch. The lack of social interaction is killing me inside. I missed my best friend’s birthday, which hurts. I’ve always been there for her, like she has for me. But I wasn’t well enough to go to the party. It sucks.

Like today, I went to the theatre with two old friends and walked to and from, because again, self reliant. On the walk home my illness caught up to me and I was too weak to walk and had to take a twenty minute break on the sidewalk. Which put me directly in the middle of a thunder and lightning storm for the majority of the remainder of the walk.

I also have been trying to exercise, as It may take some time to see a specialist. In my eyes, I need to get stronger, because I may be forced back to work before the cause is found, and the treatment even begins. The government has allotted a time for which I can be sick, so I need to get better before then… By exercising I think I can get my strength back. The problem has been avoiding the ceiling and crashing through it. I’m all the time over exerting myself. The ceiling is always moving so I can never get standard time frame for exercise. Some days, Five minutes, Other days 30 minutes. It’s never the same.

I’m no good at being sick…

 

 

The Beginning …

Look for yours truly in an upcoming blog…

Random Thoughts ...

I have no real reason to want to create this blog. I could have just used one of my old ones that linger in the interwebs but then I thought that it would be cool to share a blog with someone else just as weird as me. And then I thought of my buddy Brandon.

He was up for it so here we are. No one knows how often we will post or what we will post but we will be around and hopefully you will be around to read. 

Don’t judge us for being too weird sometimes. I am sure there are people who think you are weird in your own way and that is ok. 

I will leave you with this video just because it has been stuck in my head all day. You’re Welcome!

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How Does One Start A Blog? Without Bread!

Hello Ladies And Gentlefolk,

I am writing to you, to announce the creation of this here shiny new blog.

What can you expect on here? Anything I Fear will not go over too well In a YouTube comment section, will be written about here.

From Past Life Experiences, To Daily Life, To everything in-between like a peanut butter sandwich without the bread, you will experience it on here.

Go ahead, Follow this here blog. You might learn something about me. I may even open your eyes to things going on around you , that you otherwise would have overlooked.

So fasten your seat-belt, and enjoy the show.

 

The Brandom One…